My Top 10 Foolish SAP Predictions for 2013

by Scott Wallask

December 28, 2012

By Scott Wallask, Managing Editor,


I’m breaking out all the clichés today: Looking into my crystal ball, scanning the horizon, and reading the tea leaves for what no doubt are awesome New Year’s predictions. I am 100% confident the following 10 items will come true in 2013:

10. SAP will help the United States avert its fiscal cliff by installing HANA on the U.S. budget database, which will result in taxes being taken out of employee paychecks 10,000 times faster.

9. Larry Ellison at Oracle will go on the Twitter offensive and double his tweets per year to two.

8. SAP officials will adopt Bush-era policies and begin waterboarding critical bloggers in a basement in Palo Alto.

7. As a nod to its social media ambassador Timo Elliott, SAP will debut a new BW transaction code, TIMO, that lets a user immediately Tweet a chart.

6. Based on the retro rock acts that graced the concert stages at industry shows in 2012, Spinal Tap will sign on for Sapphire Now in May.

5. Continuing its march into the sports world, SAP will buy the Boston Red Sox and immediately announce Lars Dalgaard as general manager of the sleepy team.

4. SAP will help rappers run Gangnam-ier.

3. SAP will debut NetWeaver TV, which will operate better than Apple TV, be more reliable that Netflix streaming, but will require an SI to impl ement the remote control code.

2. A sick, twisted hacker will break into the code of an upcoming BusinessObjects service pack and reinstall DeskI for all legacy customers.

1. In the aftermath of this year’s Sapphire guest keynote, SAP will drug-test all future celebrity keynote candidates.


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Vamsi Krishna Chitluri

9/25/2013 9:04:47 PM

Like It....!

Gary Byrne

9/25/2013 9:04:47 PM

You forgot one prediction: SAP hires Mick Jagger as a special cloud security officer. Mick takes time out from the Stones' geezer tour to perform at SAPPHIRE. He closes his set singing Get Off of My Cloud.